“I Love You”…the heart is a fickle thing, why did she say that to me? Things have been going so well between the two of us…someone I could talk to and she could talk to me…nothing more then what it was.

This has always been Black Hawk’s problem when it comes to the opposite sex…My boys told me in College…said “Black Hawk for some strange reason woman fall In Love with you”….they want to date me and be my wife…spend all their time with me etc…

Now I wasn’t trying to make her fall for me…Brown Sugga was just a body a person that was here that I could talk to and spend time with when I needed to go places. She would listen to my stories (good and bad)…we could talk about all types of things and she was fun to be around. Me well I was just being me for whatever that is worth.

I would let Brown Sugga know that Black Hawk was not available for anything else and she seemed cool with that…Brown Sugga knew of Memphis Wifey and heard of Native American stories and she thought I was making the stuff up…Man never knew the truth would be so hard to believe…lol

Black Hawk never made a move toward Brown Sugga…just was the gentleman I was raised to be…when time came for me to vacate and go handle my business out in another part of town Brown Sugga always understood and I never led her to believe we had more then what it was…

Memphis Wifey and I are growing further and further apart…she is learning how to be on her own…something that I thought she needed to do…I’m not going to go to much more into that as she has asked me not to write about her and I…so I will honor that request…but there are things popping around in my head about her and I that need to be said…so I will say them but in my own private writings (For Me Only – FMO).

In the meantime Brown Sugga and I have been talking…I must say I have been talking to a few folks lately (Brown Sugga, Dreads, Sunshine, Texas Two-Step, and Ms. Divine) all of which have been really nice to talk to. I know what to expect from Texas Two-Step and Ms. Divine (lucky both are long distance or that could mean trouble…smile) However, the others are new (2 local and 1 long distance (Sunshine)…) and not sure what will happen with them.

Black Hawk has been rather guarded in what he has to offer anyone right now (which is nothing) but that doesn’t stop me from being the person I am. Memphis Wifey once told me that she gets jealous when I’m out because she knows what women see in me that makes them fall for me…I wish I knew...smile!!

When Brown Sugga expressed these words to me I was so caught off guard and defenseless I think I said something like “Thank You”…I’m sure the look on my face was a perplexing one. I don’t know what to say or think about this revelation by her to me…I hope that it doesn’t change how we react towards one another for up to now it has been cool. However, if she is looking for the same type of response from me to her…I can’t see myself falling in line with that feeling. I am unable to Love right now…don’t trust it and don’t feel it…I like the time that I am having with folks because there is no expectation of “LOVE”!!

I think I may have to sit Brown Sugga down and restate my position so that she is clear on what this is. Hopefully, she will understand…Hopefully!!

Until then…