Death Day!

Today was not a good day! I slept through the night for the most part but I did so in phases, it seemed as though I woke up every 2-3 hours which was not good since each time I woke up I began thinking about Native AmericanL This split is harder then I thought it would be!! Once morning finally came and I did get up, I proceeded to make out a list of things to do (see below).

Things to do Today
1.Order PODS
2.Talk about getting a co-signer for apartment with some employed friends.
3.Process TSP Loan
4.Talk to Memphis Wifey about move
5.Call Mom and Brothers to let them know I will be up to see them this weekend.
6.Order trailer hitch from u-haul.
7.Speak with cousin about renting house in GA.
8.Move furniture to NJ for brother.
9.Call Mr. Williams to arrange delivery of golf stuff.
10.Take Sasha to Humane Society to have put to sleep.

On this list you will see that I have to take one of my dogs (Sasha) to the Humane Society to have her put to sleep. I called up my boy MD Finest and asked him where the spot was that I could get this done. We had talked about this the prior day while playing golf, but I really began considering it through the night. You see Sasha was my 1st pet ever and she is the product of one of MD Finest 1st litters. I purchased her when she was just 4 weeks old as a gift to my son for his birthday. At 1st Sasha showed a great deal of promise, but as she grew older (2 ½ years) she began to show traits that you don’t like to see in a breed of this type. So after I got the information I needed, I went to take a shower and get dressed. Black Hawk decided not to say anything to my son since I figured I could tell him later to make it easier to get out of the house. However something strange happened. When I went to take Sasha and put her in the truck as soon as I got her in my truck my son came outside. I asked him what was up and he just said that he wanted to say by to Sasha!! I swear Black Hawk never said anything to him, yet it was like he knew. So he climbed up the back of my truck, I looked at him and Sasha went to him and he took her head in his hands and gently looked at her and hugged her and said “By Sasha” and then climbed down and went back in the house.

At the clinic I decided to keep my shades on so in the event that my eyes started to get all watery and shit the folks there wouldn’t see me. Well needless to say that shit didn’t work! As the finality of what was about to happen came I bent down to hug Sasha one last time and she looked up at me and I just broke down and cried like a little baby (so much for the shades)!!!!

Black Hawk had to get out of there so I gave them the leash and left. Once outside I doubled over and cried some moreL I think with all that has been happening and then me putting down Sasha that my emotions and shit just got the best of me and it all came out…I tried calling MD Finest and Black Knight, but each time I started talking to them Black Hawk just got so emotional that I couldn’t talk anymore.

I REALLY NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE QUICKLY!!!!!

Black Hawk decided to go and look for my new apartment and so I went to the spot that Native American and I had been to just 1 month ago. We looked at multiple units in this place and couldn’t find anything that suited her needs. When I walked in the property manager recognized me right away. I asked him if he had any 1 bedroom apartments for rent and he indicated that they had one available immediately. I asked him if I could see it and when he took me to view it and I walked in the 1st thing that Black Hawk thought was “This is exactly what Native American was looking for” and Black Hawk cried again (in front of the property manager). I took the application packet and left to go home and get some sleep so my mind could be at peace.

Once I got home I looked at my mail and guess what Black Hawk got a response back from one of the many job applications that he has sent out!!!! You would think that this would be great…Job is in my field, pays in the low six figures, at a College, yet it is in NY….FUCK!!!! They want me to call them to set up an interview…checked my phone messages and saw that they have been calling me….don’t know if I will call them back as bad as I need a job…why u ask…well Native American left here to go back to NY and I don’t know if I can be in her space (even though NY is a big fucking place)…we shall see but for now I need to rest…enough shit is already on my mind.

-more to come-