But the thought of us hanging out in our Yankee gear in the new stadium was just too much to bear!!
I busied myself with things to do to take my mind off of her and our past….see for all that I have said and drilled into everyone of how bad a person and relationship this was…I have to be true to myself and admit that we also had some very good times…
Our walk in Battery Park to the early morning hours…
Our trip to the Mets Game in our matching Mets gear…
Our trips to the Magic Johnson Movie Theater in Harlem…Christmas shopping in Harlem…playing Wii bowling in bed to the early morning hours…her looking at me get tired from playing Wii boxing to the early morning hours…our weekend trip to upstate NY to this Bed and Breakfast spot…
Mardi Gras (even though we ran out of $$)…
Spending our 1st week together at a Hotel in NYC and getting up taking late night strolls…visiting the sex museum in NYC off the humbug…our drive to the Luray Caverns…Breakfast at IHOP…Mid week trip to Philly...subway rides in NYC (she knew the trains so well…like exactly were to stand for the train door)…our Happy Hour in Bryant Park and her subsequent pool night that I was smashed at and fell to sleep on couch…LMAO…her taking a pee pee on our 1st date outside in the woods….me taking off my pants and shirt to give to her so she wouldn’t get bitten anymore by mosquitoes…me showing up at her place with nothing on but my raincoat (caught her way off guard)…lol…our trip to Yankee Stadium (old one) in our matching Yankee gear…
Going to spoken word nights…
Going to see Native Son (play)…looking at her learning how to snowboard (at least she tried)…nursing her through her first cold while together…our theft (I know not good) of drink menus at various restaurants…our late night stroll in MD during her first trip down to see me/cousin…our scavenger hunt during the mothers day weekend…
Our trip to Mount Vernon (see photo)
Our picnic in Ft. Washington park…going to see tree during Christmas at Rockefeller Center…exchanging gifts for the holidays...going to see Gil Scott Heron…
Hanging out in NYC...
Walking in Central Park…driving her to work…picking her up from work…1st meal she ever cooked for me…I will stop there…
See I wasn’t going to share this post as I saw it as a sign of weakness in my efforts to shed her from my psyche. However, I am learning that to hate her and the time we spent together is in essence like saying I hate myself. I’ve focused so much on the negative aspect of our time together that I figured it was serving as a roadblock to recovery. By remembering the good times I am better able to move on and forgive.
I saw it as a weakness, but in the end this trip down memory lane has become more of a strengthening experience.
Glad I decided to share this with you all. I got up early in the morning to post this because it was on my mind.
I struggled after reading this blog on what to say still puzzled about it all, you see I believe when god gave you your life back because it wasn't yours in the first place to turn over to someone else such as yourself (another human being) that was the time for you to move forward but lets not forget there will be memories because that makes up a pass. It's when those memories from the pass harms your furture. Just continue to pray and push forward with looking back god took you from there to bring you to a much BETTER place.. Beleive that.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - I wrote this post about 5 days ago and wasn't going to post it...on that day N/A and I were suppose to be heading to a Yankee game so i was caught up thinking about that...at the sametime i felt ok with looking back at the good times and in doing so it helps me get to closure and forget the bad times...I know I am in a better place that will continue to get better as each day goes by...yet that will only happen if i am willing to come to grips with the past and let it go (which i do daily)...thanks for the comments which are always appreciated.
ReplyDeleteDamn BlackHawk! I came to your blog to get my mind off of MY bad relationship & all it did was remind me of him - he just so happens to be a "transplanted" yankee - from New York, Watches the Yankee's every time he gets a chance & has been hanging out at the IHOP so much on the weekends, they know him there by name....hell, i just skipped to the bottom after those lil reminders, lol. God Luv YA!
ReplyDelete@Suzy Q - Sorry about that baby...I was just sharing with you all...I wasn't going to post this, but i wrote it a few days ago and just decided to post it. Hope it didn't bother you that much...smile
ReplyDelete